It is common for both spouses to experience depression (including suicidal thoughts), anxiety, and/or a profound sense of loss following the initial disclosure.  The reactions of the betrayed spouse resemble the post-traumatic stress symptoms of the vicitims of catastrophic events.

The erosion of self-esteem can be one reason behind the distance that develops between romantic partners.  To avoid this, you will need to do some active self-esteem building for yourselves, both as individuals and as a couple.